i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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