every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
