what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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