dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
