new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We need to get me chipped asap
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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