You work out of a Hotel?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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