well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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