omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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