grandma shit on top of the toilet
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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