Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
