Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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