Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
