Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
