What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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