i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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