maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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