Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
