Me too!
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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