I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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