turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
