This is not my ceiling
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
