see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Are we still banned from the library?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
