he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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