Who did Billy Mays play for?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
