walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
