She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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