I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
