She's JV to your varsity
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
