just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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