The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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