I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
