Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
