he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
