If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He shit in the fireplace
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
