We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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