You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
