Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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