you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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