You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
