That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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