a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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