Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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