so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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