Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
