Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
