But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
