FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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