Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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