i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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