why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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