isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
